Roommates, in particular. They’re so nice to each other, it’s sickening. They’re petrified of offending each other or putting them in an awkward situation.
Sometimes, Fred walks in the room and tries to start a conversation but I’m not feeling it, so I tell him to shut the fuck up. He calls me a bitch, I say he has herpes, he says I’m the worst roommate ever, and we go back to life as usual.
If I need alone time, I text him and tell him not to come back for the next two hours or else.
Instead of trying not to wake me up when he has class earlier than me, he makes a point of inconveniencing me in any way he can.
Occasionally, I sound an airhorn while he’s sleeping.
And we’re the best of the friends.
